Oh the Woes of Florida

Florida. The Sunshine State. Home of the Magic Kingdom and all that that implies. So it's this great state with everything right? Wrong. I've been here for 33 days now and I'm utterly upset and downright pissed. Sure it's sunny, I go to a Disney Park pretty well everyday and I can wear shorts any time that I want, but that is not the point! Everyday, I look for one thing and have I seen it? No. You ask what has devastated this supposedly best move and experience of my life? Freaking alligators. I thought that they were everywhere here! I hear these stories of them being on the freeway, in backyards and living in every body of water, and that is all so false! I know that all of this talk of gators in Florida is really just a conspiracy theory covering... something up. I guess maybe with NASA? Who knows. But everyday I wake up with the same dream. It's not a complicated dream, nor is it even expensive or crazy. I just want to see an alligator chillin' in Florida, is that too much to ask??